I remembered some more stuff about me!

I hate germs, so much to the point that I am almost paralyzed when I think there are germs around.
I have a hard time watching movies or playing games, I think it is an attention scan thing.
I LOVE throwing things away! especially during a waning moon, my trash/recycle bins are always full and i love it!
I gave away all of my animals (even a cat I had for 8+ years!) except for our puppy watch too much TV!

100 things about me!

If you are reading this, then TAG! you are it! Your turn!! I'm waiting!! Anyways, I've been working on this for 3-4 days now and have only come up with 72 things... might be 73, I can't seem to get a counter on this thing. OK, tada! for your reading pleasure, 73 (or 74?!) things you might, and might not want to know about Kim!

I'm a homebody
I hate crowds
I hate loud noises
I only like jewelry I pick out
I would protect my husband and son at all costs
I have 3 full siblings, and 7 step-siblings, and out of the 7 step-siblings, there are 2 sets of twin girls from 2 different families!
I have a keen sense of smell and hearing, which isn't always a good thing
I have OCD
My husband accepts everything about me
I only wear silver
I believe in vampires
I believe in unicorns and faeries
I've had too many sexual partners to list
I have 4 tattoo's and want a dozen more
I'm high strung
If I'm making a 'to-do' list, I can relax a bit
I love gay people
I don't believe in a God, that is a man up in heaven or his son.
I stick with religions that celebrate women
I want many more children right away
I talk too much shit eerrr, have lots of strong opinions :)
and love too much
I feel everything and am super sensitive
'To each his own' is very important to me.
Everyday I am grateful to myself that I didn't get my son circumsized
I think dairy is the devil
I don't believe in hell
Side effects from vaccinations scare the shit out of me yet I vaccinated my son
I a hypochondriac
I'm not always nice to my soulmate
I get frustrated easily if things aren't in order
I love Sara Mclaughlin
I love pictures and memories and scrapbooks and journals
I am not in touch with anyone from my highschool except my sisters and my X.
I get cold easily
I love hot baths, but usually fall asleep in them
I am crazy and anal about a lot of things like baby-proofing
I am lazy except when I feel passionate about something
I love being a housewife
I love being a SAHM
I love the first day of snow of the season
I love the moon more than anything
My favorite color is blue
I've been loved deeper than I thought possible
I need to lose 100 lbs.
I wish I could smoke pot
I'm very very picky about porn
I think we should only be allowed to eat organic and local foods...(can i have a side of poison with that?)
I think tattooed men are sexy
I don't ovulate or produce progesterone, yet I do produce too much testorone which is why many think I'm a bitch!
I hate taking pills/prescriptions
I love running errands and making lists
I budget/balance money, etc. every day, several times a day
I hate seeing dead bodies, the ones I've seen before (at funerals) give me nightmares to this day.
I don't think I've slept a night where I don't think someone is going to break in and kill me.
I would like to say to anyone I see wearing fur: "Would you like me to anally electrocute you and your children and then skin you semi-alive, so that I can be trendy?"
Watching Ice skating makes me cry
7 Guys have asked me to marry them
6 Guys have told me I am their soulmate
I have one soulmate god damnit! (Michael of course)
I believe what most psyhics say to me
I'd love to live off the grid and have my family eat only from my garden
I am overly sensitive
I have an addictive personality
I've kissed 4 girls in my life, or was it 5, and yes, alcohol was involved every time
I want to raise my children by the cycles of the earth
16 is my favorite number
One of the main reasons I moved my family when my son was 6 weeks old (and my nephew as 2 days old) was because I wanted to raise him in a place with more seasons...I think that is very important.
School wasn't for me
I'm glad my husband is smart
I feel guilty most of the time for one thing or another, even more so since my son was cut out of me.
Did I mention, my son was upside down inside of me (right side up), and I never knew it!
I couldn't be more in debt to anyone than my husband for making the decision (after the books and materials and huge-ass blow up pool, and umbilical clip, and placenta bowl, etc. were already bought and paid for!!) that we were having our son with the midwives...which led to the hospital which led to a healthy baby, whereas, I was going to birth him at home, and to not get too into it, that would've gone terribly-heartbreakingly wrong- Go Daddy!
I don't believe in hell
I think desert rain is so beautiful and the best smell on earth
I have lots of regrets, but if all of my choices landed me where I was today, then it was all worth it.
Nobody's sunsets are as magnificent as Tucsons!
I love my house and slate tile!
I am finally happy.

Hope the pallette dropper didn't get hurt!

So, anyways, the only place Michael really has thats all his own in this house in the office, and it was in sad shape. And with Xmas and his Bday being so close together, we decided we could splurge a little on him (not to mention he works 50+ hours of OT on each paycheck and never asks for anything.) So we went to Office Depot to look at desks. This guy said that he had dropped an entire pallette of desks and hutches. The boxes were beat up pretty bad, but we could not see any damage inside, just lots of broken styrophome. The guy had already marked them down considerably (about $200 off of each), but I wanted them just a bit lower. Just asking him got him to take another $50 bucks off the desk. We left, thought about it, then came back and said we would take the desk. But we wanted the hutch too just didn't think we could afford it also. So he said he would throw in the hutch and only raise the price of the total by $150. Michael was in the middle of saying we couldn't get the hutch when he felt a sharp pain in his back. I had to pinch him because I knew what the salesguy was going to say next (about combining the 2 and knocking off another 60% ish off the hutch.) Anyways, it went smoothly, and after one more attempt to ask him if we could have both pieces for $500.00 out the door, instead of $500.00 plus tax, (he said no), we headed up towards the cash register. While checking us out, the cashier gave us an unexpected 20% off, which took our total down to $400.00 plus tax! $425 total! We ran!
So, not only did we get the whole thing for about 75% off of its orginal price, but when we left the store, we had gotten both pieces for the price of the first discounted piece when we had walked in (because he dropped the pallette!). It was so amazing, and I'm very picky about wood and wood colors and it is very beautiful, matches the wood floor, opens up our window to the wintery wonderland, and has so much storage space for all his stuff. Happy Bday and Merry Xmas sexy man, hope you are happy:) (THEN HE PUT THE WHOLE DAMN THING TOGETHER IN 2 DAYS WHICH, TRUST ME, WAS IMPOSSIBLE!) So, now we will eat ramen noodles for the next month and dry our socks by the fire, but it was worth it ;P HEEEEEHAAWWW!

Michaels new toy...

MY REASON FOR BREATHING TAKE II!

My reason for breathing...

and yes, i know i published those other pics twice but don't know how to undo them so oh well. ;)

Brown time

Witches sometimes refer to this period between Yule (Xmas) and New Years (or Chinese New Years (Jan or sometimes Feb) as 'brown time' or the 'brown period'....anyways...I love this time...the time where things are just still...and brown...nothing is dying, nothing is turning green, things just are...
It is a nice time for me to just breathe and relax after a busy Halloween (Samhain), busy Thanksgiving (for Americans), and busy Xmas (Yule)...a time to just chill....which I really need. I can eat the wrong foods, drink too much, not call the creditors, not organize the bills, not do every bit of laundry in the house, not return all of the phone calls, etc. Brown time is a time where I can just be Kim. It only lasts for a week or 3 but I relish it.
Soon comes the resolutions and the new life goals, and the to do lists, and then Spring with the cleansings and the rebirths and the MILLIONS of things that comes with that...(Im not complaining) but now I can just be. I love it.
My sexy man bought me an obsidian crystal ball for Yule time and a ring of silver and aquamarine...(or blue topaz)...I'm so lucky.
All that matters in life is that I was able to spend the holiday with my local family. We had Italian for dinner which was perfect and enjoyed each other which made my heart very happy for my son's 2nd Yule.

A little bragging...I mean, update, on the boy

This is all of his vocabulary that I can think of right now:

Words he can say:
More -Moooore
Milk
TV
DVD
Daddy
mama
Zeuss
Rarrr!
bath
juice (sometimes)
grandma
grandpa (sometimes)
southpark (his favorite word)
ball
bar (food)
Uh-OOOO (thanks to his cousin)
hot
stop
truck
bye bye
i love you
socks
shoes
banana
night night
he tries to say controller
up
no (sometimes)
shoes
cheese (although we just took him off cheese)
all done
all gone


Words he can sign:
fan
more
drink
food
hot
cold (so cute!)
music
poop
hurt
lotion
ball
all done
toothbrush

he used to sign 'play', 'Sebastian', 'mama', & 'dada', but not since hes gotten older


working on in voice
yes
thank you

he tries to say light and points every light out then tries to blow it out

working on in sign
train
baby
dirty
outside
thank you
shoes
work
book
read
hat
sleep
where

understands in sign
water
wait
mama
dada
phone
dog
upstairs
Plus all the ones he can sign

im surprised he doesn't say computer yet and im working on moon, but what i realize from this list is what i need to be working on are animals and animal sounds more.

he can point to every part of his body when asked and is so good when it comes to his nap and nighttime rituals. he really impresses me everynight how good he is getting his teeth brushed, putting on his special shoes, and going to sleep. i think its because we've done the same thing every night since birth and i have the best husband ever.

My men

Nothing wrong with feeling comforted

I've been thinking about what to teach my son about Xmas. Do I teach him my beliefs? or the beliefs that 90% of his fellow Americans believe? Or do I teach him nothing, and let him eventually find his own beliefs? His Daddy doesn't want to lie to him about Santa, so thats out.
I was flipping thru the channels on the car stereo and Xmas music came on. I left it and sang along and sang to my son and had a good time. I was thinking about my childhood holidays and what the whole thing means and I came to at least one realization: That regardless of what I believe...the whole story behind Christmas is a very comforting one. Hell, the whole story behind Christianity is very comforting. In short, there was an amazing man who loved a young woman and helped her on a journey. Then a baby boy was born. Who doesn't love baby boys? The boy was here to save everyone! Thats good news. He grew into a teacher so everyone could be on the same page. Then very dramatically he was murdered but somehow that was OK because then everyone for the next million years could be 'saved'. (from what?) yes, yes, I'm skeptical and cynical, but its a very comforting story. This mans murder was OK because now no one would have to go to hell if they only worshipped this man their whole lives. And this man, even though he was dead would help everyone whenever they needed it! So everyone could go to heaven and live happily ever after.
See? It is a very comforting story, I felt very comforted while singing Christmas songs yesterday and thinking about the holiday.
However, I don't believe in hell, so I don't live my life scared that everytime I say "Shit",or drink pepsi, or loved a man, or just be plain me, I was one step closer to it.
I'm not putting down Christianity. Like I said, I believe strongly that to each his own, plus the fact that I would really hate it if everyone was the same. Truly.
I'm just recounting the story as I was taught it. I think that if I believed that there was a man that could save me from going thru hell or going to 'hell', then I would want to get on his good side and do everything he told me to do...in fact, I have been that person before. But I don't think theres a hell or that I'm going to it, or that theres a man that could save me from it.
I live scared way too much and I work on it daily, but luckily this is not one thing I am scared of..whew!
Back to my point, my son...of course we are going to have a wonderful holiday. His daddy doesn't have to work, we will light a fire, look at lights, eat good food, watch movies, open presents, perhaps have a snowball fight or two and just be a family together. I think this is what I will focus on until he gets a little older and we teach him the dozens of different beliefs people have about this holiday and let him chose which one fits his beliefs best. My parents pushed religion on me (because its what they were taught was the 'right' thing to do), and now out of the 6 of us only 1 still goes to church...well, that church...another 1 of us goes to another church. So, I'm afraid that if my husband and I (whose beliefs are a tad different) push our beliefs/religion on our son, that he will rebel as well, or whatever you want to call it, and have a hard time figuring out what he truly believes like his Mama.

Consumerism

I don't like a lot of 'stuff'. I don't like clutter in my home. My home is a good size for my family now, but it wouldn't be if I didn't love throwing things out, recycling, or donating. I get so excited every full moon, for many reasons, but one of them is that for the next 2 weeks, the moon will be getting smaller and that assists me in decluttering my stuff. I love going thru Bubba's clothes that he is quickly outgrowing, and boxing them up for them next baby. I feel anxiety if I have something for a long amount of time if I don't use it or if I don't have a place for it. I would rather it just be gone. I also know that feng shui doesn't like to work around clutter. The chi energies flow (and work their magick) much better in clean, clear, organized space. Another good reason...if my house is organized and simplified, it helps me to keep lil bubba safe...I don't have to worry as much as I would have to if I stored a lot of odds and ends that are bitesized that he could get into. Don't get me wrong, I am a historian at heart and can't bear to part with a memory. The only times I have thrown away (or burned) a picture, a letter, a sentimental object, is when I HAD TO. I have boxes and boxes of my memories and multiple scrapbooks...they are just organized and have their own place. My husband has a lot of stuff. Lots. This gave me anxiety for a while, until we moved into this house where he has an office of his own. I lost my point along the way, which is Christmas, or Xmas as I like to call it. It has been in my heart for years...a feeling that something was not right. My sister and I would go hungry year after year, just to spend every last dollar we had on gifts for our growing family. We would make sure everything was wrapped beautifully, and that everyone had multiple gifts. We would spend thousands. Yes we chose to do this. Over the years the unbalance of this started to let me know that this wasn't right. It has nothing to do with how much we received...it had to do with how much money, time and energy we put into this holiday year after year. It didn't feel right to me and it still doesn't. I like celebrating as much as anyone and I love giving gifts, especially on birthdays. But to go to all this effort for one day doesn't make sense to me. I like to think that I am simple, frugal person that doesn't buy into consumerism or commercialism. I think in another place at another time, I would enjoy the gift giving part of Xmas, but the way this country has taken it, doesn't appeal to me. I don't like to be lied to, I don't like people to think I am dumb, I don't like to be talked out of my hard earned money. This is how I feel all commercials and most stores are treating me. If the choice is between one more plastic, colorful, non educational toy for my son, or extra money to buy organic foods, or gas, or birthday for his daddy, I will forgo the toy. Don't get me wrong, I had the best Xmas's as a child. I have wonderful memories that will always be with me, and I was very lucky. My current feelings do not come from personal experience as a child. They come from my feelings as an adult now. I want to create wonderful memories and create family traditions and teach my son about why Xmas is a holiday and how gift giving and celebration came into play. A little blurb from the VivaciousVegan: "Christmas began as a pagan holiday. In the ancient Babylonian world, shortly before the winter solstice (December 17th to the 23rd), superstitious pagans believed that as the days grew shorter, the sun would eventually vanish completely. To encourage the sun’s return North, they worshipped with elaborate rituals and ceremonies. On the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, it appeared that the sun stood still. Believing that their implorations were successful, the pagans joyfully celebrated with drinking, feasting and dancing. A week later, when they were able to see that the days were in fact growing longer, a new year was declared.Fast-forward to ancient Rome, under the rule of Emperor Constantine. Prior to Constantine, Christianity was illegal and it's practice was punishable by death. Constantine knew he could use religion as a political tool to bring peace to his Empire and obtain willing soldiers for his militia so he declared Christianity the official religion and forced all pagans to be baptized in the Roman Church. However, Pagans still practiced the same ancient Bablylonian sun worshiping, which had further evolved to include the birthday celebration of the gods Saturn (god of harvest) and Mithras (god of light). This pagan worshiping made a mockery of the church. In an attempt to pacify the pagans, Constantine Christianized their pagan idolatries and declared December 25th to be a celebration of the birthday of Christ. In this manner, pagans were able to continue worshiping in a manner consistent with the church (the name change technicalities didn’t matter to the pagans). " But I don't want to teach bubba everything and celebrate in our own way, AND take him out in the cold, try to find a parking space, try to find the perfect presents for over 3 dozen people, fight the lines, try to comfort him while hes screaming while we are standing in line, bundle him up, get to the car again, and do it all over again....37 times. Not to mention money. Now that I have my little family, what money we do have, I would love for it to go to them, for the things I know they could use and need, like glasses, a trip to the dentist, certain clothes, certain educational 'toys'. Of course I want everyone I love to have everything they want, but thats not a possibility so why pretend it is and have a stressful holiday? Not to mention a statistic I read today on MotherJones.com...that we spend 8 billion DOLLARS! a year in Xmas decorations...which is 4 TIMES what we give to protect animals and the environment. Yuck. Of course giving gifts is fun and can be enjoyable and create lots of memories, its just when we or I overdo it or do it for the wrong reasons like out of feelings of obligation. What I do like is that I have started to get into cooking. And I like that other than my little family, I have extended family here in the city. So I am very blessed and know that I will have a peaceful, fulfilling celebration with my beloved family and still have enough money left over for my husbands birthday in early January. And I can go to sleep at night knowing that some big money making evil company did not take me for a fool with their advertising, which I'm sure the advertising money alone could feed all of the starving babies and house all of the neglected animals. I vote with my dollars and intend to live more consciously, and this is one more way that my house will stay clutter free so we can live more purposefully and healthily....(i know its not a word but it works..hehe)