A Carnivore that rides a bike leaves a bigger carbon footprint than a Vegan who drives a SUV, its a proven fact!

I am a Female...I have made MILK....I have had swollen, ENGORGED breasts...on the verge of infected Mastisis. I have had a son who I bonded with in less than the time it took for him to take his first breath or have his first cry. I can identify with a 'dairy' cow. A mama who is artificially inseminated 3 or more times a year since she was 1 year old...or raped...all to have her baby stolen from her within hours of birth. Despite what many think, Cows are very maternal, and cry for their babies long after they are gone. I have had a son...a boy baby. If I were a cow, my boy baby would be stolen from me, never to return...only to live a horribly torturous, miserable, short life, a byproduct of the veal industry...the same torture as the Mama Cow...the only thing worse than her horrible life as a dairy cow is her inhumane, unfathomably tortoruous slaughter. If I had a girl, she would still be stolen from me, and eventually after being raped and inseminated, year after year...suffer the same fate as I...having my throat slit open without pain killers, having my trachea ripped out, then being left to bleed to death which can take many many hours...and they are the lucky ones.
I can relate. I am a female, I make milk, I've had a babe. My heart aches for what the mama cows go through...unfathomable torture day in and day out..unspeakable torture...no matter how much denial most of this country is in...it still happens...it is still a reality.

I have so much to say

I have a lot to say. I have a lot to say about birth, and vaccinations, and child abuse and animal abuse and animal torture and the veal industry and veganism, and AUTISM, and Paganism. What I know is that no one listens if I'm 280 lbs. with very short dark brown hair. I know this because I was once skinny with long blonde hair and did my makeup everyday. I have a lot to say to my sons future teachers and schools. I have to be taken seriously and I know how to get that accomplished...look good. I accept this social stereotype because I have lived it. I'm not even offended by it because I know it to be true...it is what America accepts and since I live here, I accept it. I have been the girl that has everything done for her and given to her and I have been the girl that has been the recipient of massive rudeness and ignored while having my thoughts ignored. Being an activist at heart, I realize this does not work for me. I am currently detoxing, losing weight, redoing my outward appearance...for my health and future, and my sons future, and so people will listen to what I have to say. I have a lot to say. I am EXTREMELY PASSIONATE about so much...about toxic lead filled toys from China...about proving that we are poisoning our children with mercury in the form of Thimerosol in vaccinations....to the evils of the veal/DAIRY industry, and the torture and pain we inflict upon animals. To the voiceless words of young babes being hurt, scared, and abused...to the comfort and joy I feel with the neo pagan movement. I'm not ignorant to the facts of what fellow humans want their activists to look like to be taken seriously, and I must be taken seriously because I am passionate about what i have to say and there is so much to say [to stop the pain, cruelty, torture and misunderstanding....so that there is worldwide compassion and acceptance].
-Kim

Cleanse

Where to start...I guess first things first is that I'm detoxing. I have been for about a week now...I decided to quit the Pepsi. My addiction to Pepsi was outta control!! More than a 2L a day. I wouldn't eat unless I had pepsi to go with it. I wanted off of it, mostly because of the evil High fructose Corn syrup! I mean, I go out of my way to buy ketchup, bbq sauce, jellies and jams, juices, etc. that don't have it in it, even pasta sauce! I mean, come on! HFCS is one of the reasons I'm so fat. It is evil and hidden in sooooooo many items! So, while chugging my liter of HFCS one day, I realized change is inevitable. I went cold turkey. I had so much caffeine built up in my system that it took about 2 days for my withdrawl headache to kick in. After a day or so of intense pain, my sister and I realized that I could drink coffee. Afterall the reason I was getting off Pepsi was for the HFCS, not the caffiene. I have no idea how to spell that word. Anyways, so I had a nice cup of hot coffee and voila, no headache...ahhh how the aches and pains of detoxing are soothed out when that headache is gone. My doctor said my heart can't have caffeine, but I'm not going to be a coffee addicted freak like I once was in my early 20's. But I am have officially switched from Pepsi to coffee and am happy about it. I am drinking water like never before. I figure the more water I drink, the faster I will detox so I'm drinking. The only other beverage I have had is limeade, with no HFCS. It does the trick.

I am doing my version of oral chelation (heavy metal detox) which is cilantro. I buy it in the tincture which is in alcohol and very strong, so I the 40 drops into my limeade and it covers the taste.

I am also doing a liver cleanse by way of Milk Thistle, and blood cleanse by way of Greens....which is what I call it, its basically every good green veggie including wheatgrass in a powder form that I put in my ice cold water (thanks Brian!)with organic lemon juice.

I am also doing a candida cleanse, I can't think of the name of the product right now and since I'm tucked away in bed with my 2 guys snoring away, it'll have to wait....but there is a capsule and a tincture, it was $35 which is too much for me, but I feel it is necessary, plus I wanted to know what I'll be putting Bastian through next month.

With the greens and lemon juice everday, I'm also alkalizing my body which will eventually refine my palette and I will enjoy vegan foods even more....not to mention lose weight because my body won't be an acidic, inflamed environment anymore.

I've also started walking, everday, on my new treadstepper, but since I'm so out of shape I have it on just treadmill mode, which still makes me sweat so I figure its all good.

I also have finally completely taken dairy and eggs out of my diet.YEAH VEGAN!!!
I have been vegetarian now for 6 years and have made the transition to STRICT VEGANISM and am very happy about it.

Oh yeah and how could I forget the Captain...I haven't drinken any alcohol (rum) since I started this cleanse over a week ago!

I can't say I have huge noticeable affects yet but I know they are coming!

I did notice tonight that I was happy, smiling and laughing..something I don't always feel like doing....maybe this is working, or maybe its because my sexy husband took lil bubba to the museum today for 4 hours while I soaked in a bubblebath and surfed the web!

I always try to detox when the moon is waning, but it just worked out that I started on the new moon, so I'm going to cleanse for 28 days instead of 2 weeks, and take advantage of the 2 weeks of waning moon coming up (and really get the toxins and rotting crap out of my body), and end on a new moon. Then rebuild during the next 2 weeks of the waxing moon.

My goal is to lose 120 lbs., and this is the first step of my journey...and I'm also going to start Yoga.

PS

He graduated from his special shoes at night. So, after 8 casts, 1 surgery and 5 pairs of special shoes at night, (with a horrible metal bar between them)...WE ARE DONE! WHEW! We did it! At the beginning of it, when he was born with his little clubbed foot and I heard the therapy took almost 3 years, I didn't know if we'd make it, but we did, and it was successful! Dr. says his foot is perfect! He's such a trooper :)

I was born to tell him I love him

Today, my precious baby boy got officially diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. More specifically Pervasive Developemental Disorder:Not Otherwise Specified with Sensory Intergration Disorder. I have heard the Doctors 'opinions' for months now, but today was the officially diagnosis.
After 2 hours at that appointment, we got in the car...me, crying of course with the shock of this 'lifelong diagnosis'...so I turned on the radio and 'Beautiful Day' by U2 was on. Just then a train passed us and we followed it on the windy streets in the hills while my baby yelled "TRAIN!!" over and over. The sky was cloudy and it was sprinkly. It was beautiful.
As I sit here still crying, I am OK. It's not Full blown Autism, which I picture on the left side of the Spectrum. Its PDD:NOS which is somewhere in the middle. The doctors suspect it will turn into Aspergers when his speech develops. His IQ is 91 which is only one point above 'below average', but officially he is average. They also suspect this will go up dramatically, also leading to the Aspergers diagnosis because hes very smart.
I will give all of the details tommorrow, I need to go cuddle with my guys and process this all.

Beautiful

I wouldn't change him for the world

I got a letter in the mail from the Developemental Pediatrician that we saw a few weeks ago. It was his 4 page assessment of Seb. He has not been diagnosed yet. It was all very interesting, I guess the most poignoint sentence was "I strongly believe Sebastian qualifies for having Autism Spectrum Disorder, and that subsequent testing will prove so". It was informative, and heartbreaking. It was just a lot in one day. I keep going over it, cotacting who he wants me to contact and doing what he wants me to be doing.
Inhome ABA costs $75 an house which is over $2,100 a week. So, I am learning ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) myself so I can do it with him. I don't see why not. We have also started schooling. I will start keeping track of everything. We are taking him off of the sleep medicine the Dr. put him on. Especially now that he doesn't have to wear his shoes at night, he doesn't need them.


Dr. Hyman (a Dr. my sister and I both love) describes Autism as
"a systemic body disorder that affects the brain. A toxic environment
triggers certain genes in people susceptible to this condition."
So, I know where all my money is going to from now on. Organic food, natural cleaners, no chemicals, no chemicals in food. No dust. Filtered water for baths too. Cleansings...all natural clay baths. Detoxing. An organic environment. Breathin fresh air...(well thats free)..:)

One thing I know is that for this boy, I have to have unconditional love. He is not being a bad boy on purpose.. it's not that he wants to be difficult. Hes just different. It takes patience to accept him for who he is. I'm teaching him to be like others, I'm teaching him social skills, etc. but honestly, I wouldn't change him for the world.

It's OK to be different

Yesterday sucked. We parked at Uncle Kevins house, then walked to the park...that part was good. But at the park... it was hard on him. He tried talking to 2 other boys a little older than him. They listened to his sweet little story for a while...Sebastian was so talkative and for one of the very few times he actually wanted to interact with other kids postively and with communication/conversation. Then one of the little ones looks up at me and says 'he can't talk...all he can do is say blah blah blah, he can't talk...' i however knew what his story was about and what he was saying. Anyways, then the boys start being mean to him and making fun of him for not being able to talk. Then after a while, and them telling him he can't play with them, he started crying...and the little shits started making fun of him for crying, and being mean to him. I'm looking at their mom...she was nice, she just wasn't saying anything other than, let him in the car. Then after making fun of him for crying he gets so upset and runs off into the park. I quickly follow him being so done with this situation. I was very close to yelling at both of them, and at her. Then they start making fun of him for running away from me, and I yelled at them that he was running away from them because they are mean. These kids were only 6 months older than I'm assuming, but they wouldn't tell me their age.
He sometimes reminds me of this boy when hes in a good mood. http://youtube.com/watch?v=p3n7Pm9UkJg&mode=related&search=

So, that sends him into a complete public meltdown. These really suck...they last along long time. It is physically painful for me and for him. It is emotionally draining. It is hard for both of us. We tried to head for home but all he wanted to do was play with the public water fountain. After trying to get him to leave, he threw the biggest tantrum, and other parents were outright staring and talking. Not just trying to to stare and say things, they were actually doing it. Thankfully, I don't care if they stare, i don't give a fuck about them because all I care about is my son, and what he needs. Not just giving all of my heart and soul to him right then, I'm also taking mental notes for his doctors. This lasts forever. I'm trying to get him through or around or under the playgroup to the other side of the park so we could get to our car. After eternity, he finally calmed down and ran up slide stairs, then came down, then was running and hit his head very very hard on a metal toy which sent him right back to his screaming and crying. We finally got to the car and he stopped crying.
Thank god Michael came home soon after and I passed out from 10 -1 am, but haven't been able to sleep since...been doing so much research and calling all of his doctors.

Breakthrough

I forgot to mention, my mom was working with him today on what I would call ABA therapy. It was going great, Bastians mind was being stimulated in the right ways which makes him happy and calm. He loves when communication actually works for him. So, they were taking a moment of down time and he went into her kitchen. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his neck like a cape. Then he walked into the room and waved with one hand and said 'hi mom, hi gramma', hi oscar' (the puppy in the back room who he couldn't see)...she said, say hi to sasha (the other dog), and he waved with one hand and said 'hi sasha'. I cried. This was a first. He was using his immagination with the cape and was being very vocal and clear (and cute!)...when saying hi to everyone. It meant a lot.

Celebrating Sebastian...our Crystal child

My mind is full, I need to sleep on a lot of this. We haven't been back to the doctors in 2 weeks, because of the whole waiting list thing.
I don't know whether to focus on ABA therapy or chelation. I don't know whether to start him on the GFCF diet. I don't know whether to continuing beating myself up for giving him the thimerosal loaded vaccination, including the flu shot, forever. I don't even know if he is on the Autism Spectrum. I know he is different. That's about all I know. One thing I know for sure is that Mercury Poisoning (toxicity) symptoms are identical to the symptoms of full blown autism. Society will argue forever that vaccinations did not cause this. I am not going to argue this. I have my opinion, no one is going to change it. I knew about thimerosal before he was born. I said point blank that he will not be vaccinated (for this reason). When there was a pertussis outbreak in the county we lived in the week he was born, I took that as a sign (along with urging from family members), and vaccinated him for it. Then I let my pediatrician convince me to continue vaccinating him, and how safe they are. True, a lot of children, especially girls, are not affected by the heavy metals use in vaccines to preserve them. But some are.
I know he is different. While I am not dying to label him with a word...I do need to know what he has. The waiting is hard, because I don't know what road to take. The waiting is because it takes a while to get into all of the different doctors.
I do feel he has Sensory Intergration Disorder. He gets overstimulated easily which results in an uncontrollable fit. My sweet husband is not used to the stares and dirty looks we get when god forbid we interrupt the people at Starbucks for 5 minutes while they lounge around reading magazines and drinking $5 lattes, while I try to run in, buy Jenny Mccarthy's new Autism book, and run out...but of course, there are escalators there and if Bastian can't ride up and down them 100 times, he has an uncontrollable fit. I am used to the bruises, they don't bother me.

He doesn't line things up, he does have eye contact, He does point, both to draw my attention to something, and to point out something he wants. He doesn't stack things maniacally. He is 'present'. He babbles. Therefore, he is not Autistic. There is no arguing that.
There is however, arguing that he is on the Autism Spectrum, more specifically Autism Spectrum Disorder, most specifically PDD:NOS, or Aspergers Syndrome. He does need a Static environment, he does need warning of what is about to happen, he does need to be on a sensory diet. He does get frustrated, for very long periods of time when I don't know what he is saying, very very long.
He stims when he is frustrated and has repetitive speech
but not near as much as I have seen.
Thank the Goddess for youtube, not to mention google.
As usual, with him I use too many words, he needs 2 words or less, or visual or Sign language.
He hates being interupted in the middle of a sequence. He only parallel plays. We've stopped going to our play groups.
If he does not get his way, the whole world knows it. Not getting his way means not being able to watch mickey mouse or play on the computer or daddy's laptop. If he wants any of these and does not get it, much of the day is ruined. But how can I let him waste away in front of a screen? I can't.

Whats the point? The point is that he is happy. That he lives a happy, nurtured, conscious life. All I care about is that he is happy. Whatever that means. And happy for the long run.

He needs security...his doctor has recommended a weighted backpack or vest. As of today he is on half of the GFCF diet, that is no dairy whatsoever. He is also on probiotics to help his digestion and cilantro tincture to get the heavy metals out of his body. I've switched him to a homeopathic coffee cruda instead of the melatonin one of his doctors put him on to help him sleep. If you take a lot of melatonin, your brain stops producing it naturally which can lead to worse sleep disorders later on.
I wouldn't change him for the world. But if I knew more about him, I could help him to be happier. More to come when I can figure more of this out, and if you know me, you know I will.

Another blog of mine

I started this new blog to document my son, my sons education, and his impending diagnosis of Autism spectrum disorder.

It is here: http://sebastiansevolution.com/blog/


Eventually it will be more than just a blog, but it seems a good place to start!

Mistakes

So each of the 5 stacks of pictures on slide below contain 50 pics each starting with the beginning of the show at the bottom of the page, going upwards towards nighttime...but the 2nd stack from the bottom us has 100 pictures in it...the very first 50, plus the 2nd 50.
The top 3 stacks can only be seen with my informative (lol) comments and as a slideshow if you click on 'view all images' at the bottom of each stack of pics.
Everything else shouldn't be messed up.. I know theres a lot of pics, it was a long day...:)

Full day of Live Blogging

So I finally got around to doing a day of live blogging. It was informative/educational. It was a pretty typical day, which I was grateful for...
My oldest sister and I only talk about once a month and its for a couple of house and it happened to be this day.
The other difference was that my mom ordered lots of pizzas *we live in their basement* and we ate that all day, even for breakfast...when usually I am cooking most of the day.
I cook for the 3 of us for breakfast, lunch and dinner...Sebastian helps, but not this day. Cooking takes a lot of the day.
Everything else is normal.
Sebastian got tired of the camera and was tired early.
I took advice and got a timer and have started timing how long he is on the computer and the tv (mickey mouse)...starting limits.
He is really obsessed.
I'm taking this to his evaluation doctors this month.
Good experiment.
I know there are some technical issues with this new slide account, I'm trying to work out and have the pictures in smaller stacks so they are easier to look at. The first pictures are at the bottom and the night pictures are on top.
Let me know what you think.
<3
also, we started the website, sebastiansevolution.com
right now its just a blog but its going to be so much more...

Night.

Later

Evening

Wait thru same first 50, for the second set of 50

LiveBloggingExperiment

Next Bill Gates

My little genius. Now, I'm not completely technologically challenged...I like to think I can figure my way around this or that...but when the remote control for the DVD player goes missing, and Bastian is demanding a specific scene of a movie or a specific episode on a DVD, and all I see on the 300 DVD's DVD changer is stop, play and pause, he has definately has many melt downs over this.
But, as I was lifting him up today to hit play on the maching (something we just started doing), not only did he turn the circle thingy which happened to be fast forward!, but he opened a little compartment which lo and behold held the very buttons that would have saved me many a freakin times!! It had menu and sub menu! AHHHHHH!!!! Now, the circle thingy I had only ever before just pressed it and couldn't figure out its use, and I had never seen the little hidden trap door which held the almighty menu and select buttons! My little genius went straight to these and then straight to the scene he wanted. I shit you not!

OOPS

OK apparantly Mars is no closer to the Earth tonight than normal and my dear husband forgot that sometimes I can't tell when things are jokes and when they are not when he told me this! lol